Senior year of High School – all these young kids poised to launch into bright futures, ready to fly from home to take on the world! And one of the most important activities this year is the whole college application process! It was quite the learning curve in our house – so different than what Ajey and I had gone through in India! Back then, all that mattered to get into a good college was your marks in the 12th board exams. A ‘merit list’ would be published, and then based on number of seats open and your rank, you would be assigned a college from 3 options you had requested! The process here is quite different – the one thing that remains the same is the stress and uncertainty! Here’s all the tips and tricks we gathered along the way!

Broad outlines – Absolute first thing to do is working on a framework to start your applications. Asking a 17-18 year old what they want to decide with the rest of their life, and then pick a major to support that decision is probably where the stress first begins! Like so many other kids, Manasi went through wild swings of career choices – all the way from Music to Medicine, with stops at Law, Literature, French – you get the picture! The best way to get through this is by process of elimination. Manasi fell in love with Biology her Freshman year, but she couldn’t quite see herself as a physician or a surgeon. Our good friend Google showed us so many career options with Biology as a base, and Manasi finally settled on Bio-Engineering as her chosen major. There are college and career counselors that can guide you and your family through this process – but if you’re thinking of going this route, you need to start as early as the summer before Junior year. The counselor will help your child evaluate their strengths and aptitudes, and also advise on class selections for Junior and Senior year.

Once the major decision (ha ha, couldn’t resist that pun!) is made, take a look at all possible college campus options – from sprawling Big Ten schools to boutique colleges, from urban campuses to small college towns, close to home or fly far away – what feels right to your child? Best way is to make trips to campuses of different types. When we visited schools like Ohio State or Michigan – it was definitely intimidating. Purdue on the other hand felt so comfortable! Think about extremes of weather – one of my friends scheduled a Michigan Tech tour for their child in January, smack dab in the middle of winter! A tour of a few campuses is enough to get the general idea, and will really help in deciding where you want to apply.

Setting expectations – The rule of thumb when picking colleges is 2 to 3 safety schools, 3 to 4 target schools and 2 to 3 reach schools. Your child should be happy to attend any and all these schools, even the so-called safety schools. Selection is a delicate balance – setting your child’s expectations without demoralizing them. As amazing as our kids are – with their stellar GPAs, exceptional test scores and impressive resumes – the simple truth is that your school district plays an important role in which colleges your child is likely to get into. To get a realistic picture, take a look at colleges that students from your high school have traditionally gone to. Have a discussion about in-state vs out-of-state vs private school fees – it’s never too early to teach your child about getting the best value for money. So save those Ivy Leagues for your reach schools and help your child select solid schools that will get them a great education at a great price! Of course, nothing is impossible – just make sure your child has their feet firmly planted while encouraging them to dream big!

APs, grades and test scores – Unlike the system in India, where only your grades from the final 12th exam count towards admissions, here the cumulative GPA over 4 years of high school is considered. Colleges state their minimum GPA requirements on their application pages, so you know what you’re aiming for. As for the APs, our high school didn’t do a ‘weighted’ GPA for honors and AP classes – so taking APs didn’t affect overall GPA. Although having APs on your transcript is definitely helpful, be judicious about which to take – more is definitely not better here – having APs in classes which you intend to take in college, or in your field of interest is the way to go. More and more colleges are saying that SAT or ACT test scores are now optional – but why not err on the side of caution here, and send in those test scores anyway! And colleges are looking for a well-rounded high school career, not just good grades and high test scores – which brings us to:

Activities and clubs – Raise your hand if you grew up in India and heard the phrase “Timepass pure zala, aata abhyas kara” – Enough timepass, get to studying – like a million times a day, especially in 10th and 12th grade! ‘Timepass’ was essentially anything that wasn’t studying – so you can understand what an eye-opening experience it was for us when we found out that ‘timepass’ is not only ok, but is actually encouraged here! Again, the general rule of thumb – one sport, one fine art, one club. And although important for your college application, these activities are meant to give your child an outlet for their stress, so remember to follow your heart, and do something that brings joy. Sport, of course, is king – and to be honest, we were a bit disappointed that Manasi’s musical achievements were not weighted as much as a sport on her college applications. If we had known this 4 years ago, would this have changed anything? The answer is an emphatic no – she would have still followed her passion for music, the awards and recognitions were the extras, the happiness she found is priceless!

Common App and application deadlines – Once you’ve gathered all your information, created a resume, selected your colleges – it’s time to begin the application. The online Common App has made life a little easier – instead of entering the same information in a dozen different places, all the basic information – transcripts, test scores, activities etc can all be entered into the Common App, and then sent to up to 10 different schools of your choice. College application deadlines are also shown through the Common App. The deadlines were probably the most confusing for me – there’s Early Decision, Early Action and Regular. ED and EA deadlines are obviously, earlier, than the Regular application deadlines. So what’s the difference? You can apply for only one college as ED, and if you are accepted, you’re done – the decision is binding. EA is more flexible, you will get a decision earlier, but you don’t need to commit until Decision Day – May 1st. I thought the ED option was a bit restrictive – unless there’s a college your child really, really, really wants to go to. Doing EA for a few colleges does help in spacing out the applications a little bit – other than that I didn’t really think it gives anyone a huge advantage.

The dreaded college essays – Yes, essays – as in not just one, but multiple essays. There’s a Common App essay – which will be sent to our chosen colleges. Then every college you apply to will have a few – from 2 to 5 – additional essays required. The Common App essay has several prompts to choose from – there’s also ‘a topic of your choice’ to choose if none of the other prompts seem appealing. The intention of this college essay is to showcase your child’s personality – so don’t stress too much about what to write about. Doesn’t need to be some grand, watershed event – let’s be honest, at 18, having led a fairly protected life, odds are your child is not going to have faced a significant obstacle or failure that they can write about. It should be something real that strikes a chord. Manasi’s essay was about the time she was singing the anthem at a football game, and her microphone malfunctioned. She beautifully expressed her anticipation of the event, and all the thoughts that raced through her mind even as she kept singing, and how she turned the disappointment into something rewarding.

The specific college essays were mostly about why this college, why your chosen major – sounds simple, but try expressing what brought you to Bio-engineering in 150 words or less!! Do your research, and find something specific to talk about. Anyone can look up departments and classes, the answer to the why needs to be more personal. Same for the major – be as specific as possible. College essays are the most time consuming part of the application – so if you can, get your child to start early, to at least come up with ideas. Get Grammarly – I cannot stress enough how important correct grammar and punctuation is. Help them proof read, ask your English teacher to review – and polish, polish, polish! College essays can make or break your application, so make sure you’re spending enough time on them!

Accept, defer, waitlist or reject – Once you submit on the apps, begins the interminable wait for decisions! The most anticipated, of course, is the ‘You’re accepted’! It is fairly common to get a defer on EA apps – don’t read too much into this either way – it simply means that your application will now be considered with the regular applications, and you’re still waiting for a decision. Let’s face it, you’re going to see some rejections – and I’m not going to lie, the first reject that comes in is brutal. For a student who has gone from strength to strength in high school, being judged and found not good enough can be devastating. Here’s the balancing again, helping your child understand that a college acceptance or rejection is not a measure of worth. And if you’ve started off right by setting expectations clearly, the sting of rejection is easier to bear. A waitlist means that you will have your decision after Decision Day – this still means you have to accept an offer, even if you are waiting for a waitlist decision to come in your favor.

Teenage angst – Your Senior has a lot going on this year. Trying to cram in all possible activities, taking hard AP classes, worrying about college essays, spending quality time with friends, trying to live up to their own expectations – so be prepared to be the lightning rod for all the stress and anxiety that they are going through! We’ve had some crazy emotional swings at our house – including an epic meltdown at the beginning of the year which gifted us this iconic phrase – “I can see my past self looking at my future self and being disappointed with my present self, because my present self is not doing enough to complete the dreams my past self had for my future”!!! Then there was the whole “I’m never going to get into any college, my applications are terrible, nobody wants me”! And the constant refrain of “I know you are so disappointed with me, I can’t do anything right for you”! And you know that in these times, no amount of reason or encouragement penetrates the fog. So ride it out, they’ll calm down once they have a couple of acceptance letters under their belt.

So there it is, all that’s left to do is make a decision! Weigh your choices – financial aid, courses offered, friends, distance from home – and if you’re anything like us, make a Pugh matrix! At the end of the day, the college you choose will be home to your child for the next 4 years, so it is important that they are truly happy to be there! 2 things to keep in mind – first, this is your child’s journey, they need to be in the driver’s seat. As a parent, it is tempting to step in and take control, but your role is to offer guidance and emotional support. Second, every child’s journey is different – this is our family’s experience, you could have a totally different one!

Finally, the conclusion of Manasi’s college application journey. We are very proud to announce that Manasi will be attending University of Illinois, Urbana-Champaign and majoring in Bio-Engineering!! Go Illini!!